"You Belong with Me" = Old

When I first heard Taylor Swift’s “You Belong with Me,” I had a gut feeling there was something wrong with it, “wrong” referring to the message it was trying to express to nerdy little high school girls like me.

Of course, I didn’t really say anything at the moment, because the song seemed like it made too much sense, and, therefore, I’d be plunging myself into a whole lot of compost by trying to attack it with arguments that were still nebulous in my head. So I left it alone and decided to enjoy the song without excruciatingly analyzing its subtle messages. Which isn't too hard as the song couples Swift's already smooth, syrupy country voice with an unforgettably catchy tune.

Then I watched the music video, and the original suspicions I had began to scream a little louder, and this time I couldn’t particularly ignore them. What struck me first was that, in the video, Taylor Swift the Nerd is absolutely gorgeous. Here I rely on some visual aids:

No acne? No hair problems? No crooked teeth? Come on.

Her style is definitely coordinated. She may wear huge glasses, but, somehow, they only seem to accentuate her facial features and what she is already wearing (like that periodic table T-shirt. That was really cute.). So, the first problem was that Swift’s attempt to target the academic, goody-goody, unattractive (as deemed by society; I honestly think everyone is beautiful, really) adolescent girls hopelessly heartbroken and littered throughout every American high school didn’t really address them in the first place.

That is a really cute sweater. Does she shop ASOS?

Secondly, there was the issue of the particular boy with whom she was in “love.” The fact that Swift the Nerd had to show up to a dance in a long, white dress (symbolism much?) in order to make her loved one realize that he truly loved her, compared with the lyrics in the song in which she describes him as wearing “worn-out jeans,” really bugged me. I mean, the only reason he decided to gravitate toward her was basically because she looked freshly stunning in a white dress. Maybe the scene is supposed to be symbolic (after a while he realizes she's "purer" and "a nicer little girl" than his girlfriend and they decide to get together), but if it is, the video's done a really bad job of making clear that you're not supposed to take this scene at face value. (On a side note, when she shows up to the event, Swift the Nerd isn’t wearing glasses. This isn’t helping girls who wear dorky glasses; it’s only implying that there is beauty underneath their optical aids. You're not beautiful until you take your glasses off!)

Here comes the bride...

Hay gurl hayyy!

Thirdly, Taylor Swift's alter-ego, Swift the Cheer Captain, seems suspiciously unrealistic to me. It seemed as if Swift was trying to attack a stereotype that rarely exists. Everything about this girl, from her icy heart to her makeup to her wardrobe to her promiscuity, is hyperbolic and makes her a two-dimensional character. She's so bad it's almost comical, like something from Mean Girls--except Mean Girls was intended to be funny and pulled it off fantastically. You rock, Tina Fey!

Get in, loser, we're going shopping.

The original mean girls.

Usually I'd say flat characters would detract from Swift's overall message (relationships should be based on friendship and love! Modest is best! Be yourself, unless you're a cheerleader who likes expressing herself by wearing miniskirts!), but in this case they help to strengthen it, albeit in a negative way. Girls who really like this song often feel like they can relate to it and have a specific guy and girl in mind when they see the music video. They equate the guy to this handsome, almost innocent, lovable person and the girl to this undeserving, cold, nefarious creature who stepped in as a curse of fate to split apart the "destined couple" in the video. It's basically the ultimate guilty fantasy for someone who has an unrequited crush/love interest.

Which is the main reason I don't like this song. It makes girls feel like they're "better" and "more deserving" than other girls just because they dress differently or have a more friendly relationship with their love interest. And maybe you do deserve him more, but your main concern shouldn't be snatching him from a relationship he's struggling with to keep for yourself--it should be helping him get out of the relationship before his heart can't take it anymore. Your relationship with him should come second.

Of course, that's something an idealistic person would do, and very few of us are like that. We all have those fantasies we can't help, and I'm certainly not going to berate someone who's struggling with a situation like this because it's incredibly hard to be a friend before being a lover. But I still don't appreciate that Taylor Swift has chosen to put this fantasy in a positive/moral light. And I don't like the attitude she promotes that behaving more primly than another girl makes you more deserving of a lover (sexism alert! But that's a completely different discussion.).


Happy flossing,
Em